More and more high school graduates are choosing to take a gap year before diving into post-secondary education or launching into a career. And honestly? It makes sense.
After years of academic pressure, extracurriculars, and the social rollercoaster of high school, many teens finish feeling burnt out and unsure of their next step. University is a major investment—not just financially, but emotionally and mentally. Taking a step back before jumping into the next big thing can be a smart and thoughtful pause.
The Purpose Behind a Gap YearYour New Hat: From Manager to
A gap year can offer young adults the chance to recharge, explore their interests, gain work experience, and even save some money. It’s a valuable time to figure out who they are—without the constant pressure of assignments and exams.
But here’s the thing: a gap year should still have a purpose.
Whether it’s travel, work, volunteering, or personal development, it’s important to clarify why your teen is taking a gap year and what they hope to achieve. This is where working with a therapist or career coach can be incredibly helpful. A professional can help your child identify their “north star”—a guiding goal or value—and support the whole family in setting clear expectations.
If you’re subsidizing their gap year, ask yourself: What are we investing in? What are we expecting in return?
This isn’t about control. It’s about making sure that a year off doesn’t become a year adrift.
Money talks: Financial skills matter
If your teen is planning to work during their gap year, that’s a great opportunity to teach essential financial skills. Sit down with them and talk about budgeting, saving, and investing. Consider helping them open a TFSA or an investment account. This kind of financial literacy is a game-changer and will serve them for years to come.
From Parent-Child to Roommates: Shifting the Dynamic Let them call you
One of the trickiest transitions in parenting comes when your child graduates and continues living at home as a young adult. The relationship inevitably changes. Think of it less as a parent-child setup and more as a roommate situation—one with mutual respect and shared responsibilities.
It’s important to have a clear, intentional conversation early on about what this new phase looks like. Set a time to talk. Be curious about their hopes for the gap year, and be open about your own expectations.
Here are a few guiding principles:
- Be Explicit
Don’t rely on hints or unspoken expectations. Spell it out. Connect freedom with responsibility. That’s how life works. Employers, landlords, and roommates all expect contribution—so should you.
- A Free Ride Isn’t an Option
If your teen is living at home, contributing to the household should be non-negotiable. This might mean:
- Paying a small portion of rent or covering their own expenses
- Taking on regular house chores
- Cooking meals once a week
- Helping with younger siblings
This isn’t about punishment—it’s about preparing them for adulthood.
- Let the Schedule Be the Boss
Sit down together and create a realistic schedule for cleaning, cooking, and other responsibilities. When expectations are clear and mutually agreed upon, you avoid becoming the nag—and reduce resentment on both sides.
Your home, Your rules
Yes, your teen is legally an adult. But your home is still your home. Make expectations crystal clear and write them down if needed.
Here are a few things to consider discussing:
- Quiet hours: If you’re up early for work, midnight nachos and a kitchen disaster may not fly.
- Guests and sleepovers: Just because something might happen at college doesn’t mean it’s OK under your roof. Decide what you’re comfortable with.
- Substance use: If you’re not okay with drinking or smoking in your home, that needs to be respected.
- Communication: Ask for a simple courtesy text if they’ll be home late. This isn’t about control—it’s about peace of mind and mutual respect.
The Bottom Line
You’re still the parent, and yes—you’re still in charge of your home.
Let’s be honest: no one wants to raise a 25-year-old basement dweller with no plan. A gap year should be a springboard, not a stall. Living at home as an adult is a privilege, not a right—and it should be framed that way.
Give your teen room to grow, but don’t be afraid to set boundaries that also work for you. When approached with care, communication, and intention, a gap year can be a transformational experience for everyone involved.
Keep the conversation going
Remember: this isn’t a one-time talk. Revisit the conversation every few months to assess what’s working and what’s not. Let your teen know that you’re in their corner—and you’re here to help them launch, not linger.
xx, Tasha Belix
Registered Psychologist
