Oh, university… Often portrayed in movies, TV shows, and social media as the best years of
our lives, filled with close friendships, exciting events, newfound freedom, picture-perfect
relationships, and inspiring academic work that fuels your dream career. While many of these
moments can certainly be true, the reality is that university can also be hard. Balancing classes,
assignments, midterms, and deadlines, alongside social, financial, and personal changes, is a ton
and can be very overwhelming.
I spent many years in university, and along the way, I learned a great deal about how I learn best,
manage stress, maintain balance in my social life, and strive to excel academically. These lessons
came through both successes and setbacks, and a fair amount of trial and error along the way.
Each of us moves through university in our own way, shaped by our experiences, strengths, and
challenges. My hope is that some of these reflections offer support, reassurance, and a gentle
reminder that your journey doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s to be meaningful.
Trial and Error: Here are a couple of examples of things I tried that were… less than helpful.
- Cutting out my social life almost entirely.
When my academic work became really demanding, I convinced myself that I was too
busy with school and work to spend time with friends or family. There are deadlines with
school, but not with friends or family; they can wait, right? Gradually, quality time
with the people I cared about became less of a priority because I thought it would help
me stay on top of my schedule. In reality, it did the opposite! I felt isolated, lost part of
my support system, and had no real mental break from academics. Without those
moments to relax, laugh, and recharge, it actually became harder to concentrate, and my
schoolwork ended up taking even longer to finish. Chasing perfection a little too hard
Like many students, in university I poured my energy into getting the best grades
possible and doing everything just right (I’m an eldest daughter). Striving to do well is a
great quality; it shows commitment and pride in your work. But I eventually realized that
my drive for perfection was costing me peace of mind. I’d spend hours fine-tuning essays
and projects long after they were already strong, all in pursuit of “perfect.” Looking back,
this extra pressure didn’t make my work better; it just made me more anxious and
exhausted! I’ve learned that doing your best is enough, and that sometimes “good
enough” truly is great. Progress, not perfection, is what helps us grow.- Triaging my life, because everything felt like an emergency
When things got stressful in university, I often told myself to just keep going, to push through and not dwell on how overwhelmed I was. I used to think of it like triage in a medical setting (based purely on my Grey’s Anatomy knowledge). I’d tackle the most “critical” assignment first, then move to the next, and the next, always reacting to whatever felt most urgent. It felt like I was constantly responding to a crisis, never pausing to check in with how I was actually doing, because the next “critical patient” (another deadline, another exam) was already waiting.At the time, I believed that if I ignored my stress or anxiety long enough, it would eventually fade. Spoiler: it didn’t. Instead, I distracted myself with scrolling or binge-watching, convincing myself I was taking a break. I wasn’t giving myself space to process what I was feeling; I was numbing and ignoring it instead. Over time, that bottled-up stress turned into burnout. What I’ve learned since then, both personally and professionally, is that slowing down to acknowledge how you’re feeling isn’t a waste of time; it’s what helps you stay grounded and resilient.
8 Strategies that actually helped me with managing stress!
- Create a realistic study schedule that fits you.
Figure out when you’re naturally most productive and plan your schoolwork around those
times. Work with your energy, not against it. Are you a morning person? A night owl?
When is your brain the most alert and ready to learn? - Study with a “body double.”
If focusing alone feels impossible, study alongside someone else who’s working too.
Having company can boost motivation and help you stay on task. - Edit your environment
Home can be full of distractions (laundry, snacks, Netflix…). Try studying somewhere
else, like a library or coffee shop, to help your brain shift into work mode. - Treat self-care as a non-negotiable.
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Self-care doesn’t have to be big or daunting. Small,
consistent habits are what’s going to keep you going! Things like going for a walk, eating
well, talking with a friend, doing a facemask and having a bath, these mindful breaks
keep you recharged. - Connect with people who get it.
When everything feels like too much, talk to others who are in a similar boat. Realizing
that “it’s not just me” can make things feel a lot lighter. University is HARD! It’s not you. - Remember: you’re not behind.
Everyone’s path looks different. Whether you change programs or take a break, you
aren’t behind if you are doing what is best for you. You’re allowed to change your mind! - Set healthy boundaries.
Boundaries are so important in both your academics and social life. Sometimes we can’t
say yes to everything, as much as we may want to. Permit yourself to say no, so you can
say yes to something else that you want or need to do. - Move your body and get your sleep.
I know we’ve all heard it a million times, but it’s for a good reason. Making sure you get
enough sleep and exercise are some of the most important and healthy things you can do
for yourself, especially in times of great amounts of stress, like university. Getting a good
night’s sleep can be interrupted by stress. Metabolizing some of that stress through
exercise will help you feel and sleep better! And better nights give you better days!
Written with love and attention by:
Kimberly Stainthorpe
M.A. Counselling Psychology
