What to Expect from a First Session: Prepping Your Child Before Meeting a Therapist
These Five Steps Can Help:
1. Use the “going to the dentist” analogy.
Let me explain… “If you have a sore tooth, you go to the dentist. We would never ignore tooth pain. The same is true for emotional pain—we don’t want to ignore that either. A psychologist is a feelings expert who helps with emotional pain, so it doesn’t have to bug you anymore. That way, you can grow more calm and confident.”
2. Explore the therapist’s online presence.
Take a look at their website, blog, or social media to get a feel for their voice and personality. Your teen might see the potential therapist out on a hike with her cute little Jack Russell and decide that’s a reason to give her a try. (I might be talking about myself and Pepper here!) Sometimes, we can get a sense of someone’s energy and approach from even a short video or post. Of course, we don’t want to judge a book by its cover—so the next step is to actually meet the therapist and let your child or teen decide if this is the right person for th
3. Validate, validate, validate.
Acknowledge what your child or teen is feeling about the session—without dismissing their apprehension or adding too much pressure. If you make therapy sound like a big, scary, “bare-all-your-secrets” process, it might scare off a young person who really needs support.
Sample validation scripts:
A child might be nervous about sharing worries with anyone other than Mom:
“It makes sense that you’re a bit nervous about talking about personal things with someone who isn’t in our family. We want help so those worries aren’t so bossy—and Heather is really good at helping kids with that. Let’s give it a try.”
A teen might be worried about crying during the session:
“I can imagine that you might feel scared to cry in front of a stranger. Tears often come up when we talk about things that weigh on us. I bet Malvern has seen lots of tears in that therapy room before.”
4. Remember, the psychologist is a professional.
They have lots of experience engaging reluctant, shy, or unsure children and teens. The first session is often about gathering information, identifying the reason for the visit, and building rapport—especially by focusing on what excites or interests the young person. Talking about the good stuff is a must! Before arriving at the therapist’s office, your child has already been doing life on their own. What strengths, assets, and stories of resilience got them this far? Therapy builds from there.
5. Who’s in the room?
Typically, a parent or caregiver joins the young person for the first part of the session to help explain what therapy is and how it works. Then, the therapist will meet with the child or teen one-on-one to better understand their unique needs. This time might involve playing a game, talking about interests, discussing the important people in their life—or even exploring an existential crisis of the moment!
As a rule of thumb, the older the teen, the less involvement parents will have. In some cases, beyond providing written consent, there may be no direct parent involvement at all. At Belix Psychology, however, we strongly believe in the healing power of parental involvement. Parents are a child’s forever people, and learning the skills to support emotional expression and mental health is a pay-it-forward investment we wholeheartedly support.
Questions to reflect on afterward (only if your child or teen wants to share):
- Did you feel like you were heard, and that the therapist didn’t do all the talking?
- What does your gut say—do you think this is someone you might learn to trust over time?
- Parents, try not to pry. A quick thumbs-up or thumbs-down non-verbal check-in works great.
For example: “Anything you learned or want to tell me about meeting Malvern?” If the answer is no—let it go. Trust the process.
xx Tasha
Clinical Director, Author, Speaker & Psychologist
